The thing about going home for the holidays when you're in college is that your friends and family, and the lady who works behind the counter at the gas station in your town, haven't seen you in months, so any weight gain or loss is far more apparent to them than it is to you. And they will judge you.
Have you ever noticed that the people who go baking crazy around the holiday somehow manage to end up eating the least? They excitedly clammer away in the kitchen for hours before placing the entire finished product conveniently right within your reach, to ensure that you won't even have the opportunity to burn the extra calories by standing up and walking over to get one. And then they walk away, selflessly, the very antithesis of the "The Little Red Hen" parable. When you tell them to eat some of their own god damn food, they give you a self depreciating comment about how much of the frosting or batter they licked off the spoon. Well if you are a person of impeccable manners and upbringing such as I, you will eat the majority of their baked delights, and promptly text your boyfriend something hilarious to subconsciously remind him that he likes you for your personality and not your figure, and pray to the ye gods that the weight settles in someplace discreet.
Prepubescent bodies are wasted on the under 13 age group who don't know the value of having a body that resembles an orange on a toothpick.
As a side note- the best weight related advice I ever got was from a girl who told me that although she wasn't at her skinniest, she had been having the time of her life and had put on "happy pounds." I immediately took to this, preached it and lived it, throwing my health consciousness to the wind and indulging whenever I deemed it worthwhile.
Then the bitch lost about 20 pounds.
Right on cue my roommate just put a plate in front of me. To not accept would be rude.
xxxxxxxxxxx G
images via oracle fox.
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